Happy Holidays from the Lane County Concussion

Hello and warmest holiday wishes from the Concussion Family! We hope that the season finds you happy, healing, cozy, bruise-free, and well. If for some reason you are not, well, peppermint schnapps will cure what ails ya.

Though like a fine Montessori school, we like to measure our achievements in stars and stickers, the fact of the matter is that MRDA doesn’t see eye-to-eye with us on this and prefers “rankings.” However, even by that metric, 2017 has been a banner year. We opened the year at #33 and through our tough scheduling and perseverance climbed the rankings all the way up to a current ranking of #32.

It was a long journey to that spot. In February, we traveled to Los Angeles where we lost a close bout with our friends the Drive-By City Rollers. We rounded out the weekend with a fun bout against the LA Flakers Coed Roller Derby and a little scrimmaging on the L.A. Derby Dolls’ banked track.

In March, we helped our brothers to the north, the Portland Bridgetown Menace, get the experience they would need to make a run for the MRDA Championship. They beat us in a nail-biter, 567-33. But, when it comes to moral victories, we were the true winners, except for Brains, who got ejected.

Our other colleagues to the north, the Bridgetown Brawlers, made the trip to Eugene in April and October because they’re simply always down to clown. And, we love clowning with them!

The Big O in May is always the centerpiece of our season. This year, we played teams from three different countries: the Victoria Men’s Roller Derby from Australia, the Glenmore Reservoir Dogs from Canada, and the Wheels of Mayhem from Mexico. We pulled out a squeaker of a victory against our pals the Dogs, which was a major team goal for us.

After the Big O, we kind of wandered around aimlessly as we tend to do. We bid farewell to our retiring comrade Tank Nasty, who has given us many fine years and many off-color jokes that revolve around marijuana. Icky moved to Florida because that was the only way he could protect his knee from our grueling practices. And, there are several others who continue to hold a place in our hearts and in our thoughts as they attend to life away from the track.

Fat Louie really stepped up for us at the Big O this year. She was thrust into a coaching position through circumstances. We all quickly fell madly in love with her, and now, she is with us for good (and some bad.) Soon after the Big O, we welcomed our first matriculated junior skater, Scooby Smack. He’s an incredible talent, who continues to keep us old people on our toes. PhotoBomb also joined our ranks, and he has quickly become an indispensable part of the team.

In October, we hosted our long-time buddies, The Skaters Grim. They only had ten skaters and gave us a run for our money before succumbing to our perennial MVP Blocker AO.

We continue to have the same group of chuckleheads keeping the gears running – Tech Officer Grime and Punishment, Captain Dr. B, Coach Psych (who we occasionally trick into playing), Captain Hot Fuzz, VP Draggin Balls, and Treasurer Full Frontal Nerdity. And, we have an outstanding supporting cast of Cutthroat Callie, Tim-Buck-You, Sergeant Pepper, Collecting Soulz, MegaPickle (who took the marvelous picture above), Zoom, Inspektor Spaceman, Dr. Multiclass PhD, X, YB Normal, and last but definitely not least Santa Claus himself, Merby Dick. And, of course, we are forever indebted to the volunteers, officials, fans, and our ever-supportive sister league Emerald City Roller Derby who made this season possible.

2018 is already shaping up to be another banner year for LCC as we participate in The Big O 2018 Tournament, travel to the Midwest for a tournament, and host Fallout Roller Derby, Drive-By City, and more. And, we are helping to host the MRDA Championships in Salem in October.

From the bottoms and tops of our collective hearts, we would like to thank you for the wonderful year and wish you the happiest of holidays,

Yours Truly,

The Lane County Concussion